|
|
發表於 2005-5-16 22:12:27
|
顯示全部樓層
Woody Allen quote:
Life
* Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
o Annie Hall, (1977)
* Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's also over much too soon.
* I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
* There's more to life than sitting around in the sun in your underwear playing the clarinet.
God
* As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
* How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
* If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
* If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
* Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
* To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
* God is either cruel or incompetent.
* Between air conditioning and the pope I take air conditioning.
Death
* It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
* On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
* There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
* It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
o Source: Without Feathers, (1976)
* I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.
Time and Space
* Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Success
* Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Sex
* Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
o A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982)
* Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love.
o Annie Hall
* Sex is only dirty if it's done right.
* And Love? Well, it's not that quantity of your sexual relations that matters, but the quality. Then again, if the quantity ever drops below once in eight months, I'd definitely take a look into it.
* My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
Consciousness
* What a wonderful thing to be conscious. I wonder what the people in New Jersey do?
Others
* Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
* The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
* His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
* How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
* I am at two with nature.
* I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
* I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
* I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
* I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
* I took a speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
* I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
o Annie Hall
* I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
o Annie Hall
* I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
* I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
* Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
* It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
* It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better ... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
* The last time I was inside a woman I was visiting the statue of liberty.
* The lion and the lamb shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
o Source: Without Feathers, (1976)
* Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
* More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
* Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
* My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
* Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
* Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
* Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.
o Source: Manhattan, (1979)
* Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
* The two biggest myths about me are that I'm an intellectual, because I wear these glasses, and that I'm an artist because my films lose money. Those two myths have been prevalent for many years.
* What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
* What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
o Source: Without Feathers, (1976)
* When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
* Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
* You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Woody_Allen
 |
|
IP卡
狗仔卡
發表於 2005-5-10 07:31:26
提升卡
置頂卡
沉默卡
喧囂卡
變色å¡
顯身å¡
