英作

Fantastic

Write a letter of complaint to the Principal of your school that raises a concern you have about the school(Not bullying). Suggest a plan of action for fixing this concern.
Refer to your school as St Cuthbert’s Secondary School and your Principal as Mr. Kwok. Sign your letter Chris Wong


Dear Mr.Kwok,
Regarding to students’ frustration about the poor services provided by the Seastar Snack Bar in our school, I am writing to draw your attention and suggest a series of action for fixing this problem.

Ever since  the change of ownership of the Seastar Snack Bar in last school year, the quality of its services has been deteriorating. It is not surprising to see that students union has been receiving complaints from students and we came up with two major problems about the only food provider in the school.

First, the prices of food are set way beyond the acceptable level. We were used to enjoy cheap snacks and drinks but now the prices displayed on the menu will drive us away. When asked how the prices go up so fast, the bar owner claimed that the unwelcome action is to relieve the inflationary pressure. I am not pleased with his answer since the ridiculously priced food does not match with the current inflation rate. Not having enough bargaining power to negotiate, I hope you can urge the snack bar to restore the old prices which certainly, will bring favourable effects to both students and the owner as fewer and fewer students are willing to splash out their pocket money for overpriced products.

Another major concern is about the nutrition values of lunchsets provided by the snack bar. Thanks to the leaflets and the advertisement shown on different media, we become  aware about the food we are intaken every day, but again the snak bar cannot catch up with the trend. Despite receiving complaints, they keep on selling oily and fried lunchsets  with very little vegetables. Coke is the only drink we can buy while fruits are always out of stock. Even we can boycott the food provider about the snack, but can we skip lunch ? For the sake of our health, the school should employ a nutritionist to advise the food provider what kind of meal should be made, and help monitor the supply of food especially fresh fruit .

We all know that it is complicated to negotiate with any businessman. Maybe school can loosen up some of the school rules, allowing lower form students to have lunch outside school. One major advantage is that more room is left for parents who prepare meals for their sons, so more of them can get rid of the only food option now. Sooner or later, the Seastar Snack Bar will change their strategy if they are not competitive enough.
The problems i have mentioned have been annoying us for quite a while. I hope that the school can put my suggestions above into serious considerations as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely,
Chris Wong.

英文唔得，請各位大大指教指教

ar_U

自已英文都頗廢
力不從心

懷念里華度

regard是及物動詞，後面不可以有to, 也可改寫成I would like to draw your attention to our students’ frustration about the poor services provided by the Seastar Snack Bar in our school, and to suggest a series of actions for fixing this problem.

It is not surprising to see that the students' union has been receiving complaints from students and we came up with two major problems about the only food provider in the school.
come up with 是'想出'或'提供'，通常用於ideas,solutions等詞，We have found two major problems就可以了。。。

we become aware about the food we are intaken every day
為甚麼不說we eat every day呢?

Even if we stop buying snacks from the food provider, we can't skip lunch.
這是較好的寫法 even的用法很多香港人都弄錯
even解'甚至'，even if解'即使'
前者用於名詞，後者用於子句

請問你有否補習? 因為文中塞入了很多補習社常教的語句
不要為用而用，這些語句用得太多只會令文章冗贅

不過放心，以考評局既標準你篇文既分應該唔會差

[ 本帖最後由 懷念里華度 於 2008-2-20  12:16 PM 編輯 ]

Fantastic

原帖由 懷念里華度 於 2008-2-20  04:49 AM 發表
regard是及物動詞，後面不可以有to, 也可改寫成I would like to draw your attention to our students’ frustration about the poor services provided by the Seastar Snack Bar in our school, and to suggest a se ...

那些是補習所用句子?因我沒有補習而句型很多是從雜誌學的