菲臘仔暢談各隊友!!!好好笑

華頓

phil the love

By slack and dick
Date: 15/2/2006




With the recent realisation that P.Neville's arrival at Goodison was 'the best move ever', we delve deeper into the mindset of international soccer pin-up Philip, to discover just why he loves life at Bellefield so much.


In an exclusive piece, P reveals all about his new team mates.

Nigel Martin
Nige made me feel very welcome when I first arrived, and was worried about being the 'new kid'. He taught me 4 card brag, introduced me to the thrill of everton bingo and will often read stories to me and James McFadden after training.

Lee Carsley
A bald, Danish friend of David's told Gary to tell me that Lee is the funniest man ever! Lee says he is also Harry Hill, he is very witty. His Ali G impression has us in stitches on the coach! Lee hates Gary Naysmith.

Matteo Ferrari
Matteo talks in a foreign language a lot at people and then spits on the floor afterwards. He is not at all like Wes Brown. I thought he would be like Wes Brown. I miss Wes Brown. Wes Brown was nice.

Alessandro Pistone
He is very smiley, and I like his haircut, he could be on Sunset Beach if he wanted to be I reckon. Sometimes he limps on his other leg, but he gives me rides in his new Lamborghini because I promise not to tell anyone. It goes really fast. Vroom Vroom.

Per Kroldrup
Per wore a cap a lot at Bellefield, and this made the gaffer very angry. He was always writing letters to his mum and cried a lot. Per always got picked last at training. Lee sang a song "Per Per has got no Her" (but he meant hair!) when we were in the showers. This made Beatts laugh. I will miss Per.

Gary Naysmith
Gary loves to rock out in the gym. Once he dyed his beard blue but we didn't even notice because his beard is so rubbish. Gary would like a better beard. Someone told me he nearly died a few months ago. His leg smells.

David Weir
Sometimes David turns up late around the player's houses - he says he can because he's captain. But not at Nuno Valente's, who won't let him in because he thinks David shouts too much.

Li Tie
I have never met Li, but Mr. Wyness often wears a tracksuit and Chinese mask. When I ask him why, he rubs his fingers n thumb together and then rubs his belly. Mr. Wyness eats a lot of our food.

Nuno Valente
Nuno has a very nice suit. He doesn't like David Weir.

Tim Cahill
All the young players follow him around, he is always surrounded by small people and signing autographs. I'm not allowed to his barbecues yet, but hopefully one day I can go.

Marcus Bent
Marcus swore a lot. He reminded me of that 50 Sense that Gary likes just because David does. He often turned up late because he said he drove to the wrong ground. Marcus was very angry.

James Vaughan.
Lee makes fun of him because he gets a lift in with his mum. Lee's impression of James' mum is very funny, it has me and Beatts in stitches. James drags his leg behind him sometimes. I went to see Baz about this but he just put his fingers in his ears and said "La La La La La La". That was annoying.

Richard Wright
Richard was very confident when I met him many years ago. Now he shakes a lot. Richard smokes Rothmans cigarettes.

Simon Davies
Simon is quite hunky and likes to go dancing in the night clubs and would one day like to open his own dance school. That's the only thing Simon's ever said though.

James McFadden
Faddy is such a joker! He nutmegs Christopher Seargent all day on Thursdays. Ha Ha Ha Ha Christo-pleb!

James Beattie
Beatts is the coolest guy any of us have ever met. Once he punched a statue, we all thought that was brilliant. He is also really into music - he introduced us to the Black Eyed Peas and he says he can scratch too. Everyone wants to be his room mate, except for Marcus.

Kevin Kilbane
Kev loves hip hop. He is always doing his beatbox in the dressing room - like Rio used to, but with pauses between sounds. When Marcus was here he laughed at it, and he would steal Kevin's caps and earrings whenever he got interviewed. Kevin says he was close to popping trunk with that cold cap peeler.

Leon Osman
Leon is best friends with Richard Wright. They play computer games all the time on the coach, but the gaffer doesn't like that. He warns us all to stay away from Richard.

Duncan Ferguson
Duncan doesn't talk to me, Richard or Simon. Gary tells me I shouldn't be so scared of him. But Wes Brown told me to be careful of him before I came here. Wes Brown is smart. Gary is not as smart as Wes Brown sometimes, even though he thinks he is really smart, and better than me at everything. Sometimes Gary makes me really angry.



睇黎phil仔都幾enjoy係愛華頓既生活

grandoni

Alessandro Pistone
He is very smiley, and I like his haircut, he could be on Sunset Beach if he wanted to be I reckon. Sometimes he limps on his other leg, but he gives me rides in his new Lamborghini because I promise not to tell anyone. It goes really fast. Vroom Vroom.

最鍾意呢個

Tung

Duncan Ferguson
Duncan doesn't talk to me, Richard or Simon. Gary tells me I shouldn't be so scared of him. But Wes Brown told me to be careful of him before I came here. Wes Brown is smart. Gary is not as smart as Wes Brown sometimes, even though he thinks he is really smart, and better than me at everything. Sometimes Gary makes me really angry.
惡

robbierebrov11

Richard Wright
Richard was very confident when I met him many years ago. Now he shakes a lot. Richard smokes Rothmans cigarettes

熱刺#29戴維斯

Matteo Ferrari

I thought he would be like Wes Brown. I miss Wes Brown. Wes Brown was nice.

Smithy

正

Hakkinen

Gary Naysmith
Gary loves to rock out in the gym. Once he dyed his beard blue but we didn't even notice because his beard is so rubbish. Gary would like a better beard. Someone told me he nearly died a few months ago. His leg smells.

Damn Kirby

Lee Carsley
A bald, Danish friend of David's told Gary to tell me that Lee is the funniest man ever! Lee says he is also Harry Hill, he is very witty. His Ali G impression has us in stitches on the coach! Lee hates Gary Naysmith.

a friend from mars

肥仔麟

Simon Davies
Simon is quite hunky and likes to go dancing in the night clubs and would one day like to open his own dance school. That's the only thing Simon's ever said though.

睇唔出
richard食煙果個都好笑  

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