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發表於 2008-12-13 17:52:16
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Predictions for 2009
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January
2009 begins predictably, as usual, with January 1st. Hungover Saints fans head straight online to see who has already been sold, but no news is taken as bad news, and Alpine Saint fears only a future of darkness and woe awaits. Rupert Lowe concedes that Man Utd may be slight favourites for the forthcoming cup tie, but states Ladbrokes odds of a Saints win at 200/1 are insulting. To show his confidence, he bets Saganowski's wages on the win.
After a gallant display from Kelvin Davis and a triumphant scoring return for Saganowski, Saints go down to hattrick of nostalgic Darren Fletcher headers. Rupert Lowe loans Saganowski to Nottingham Forest to reduce the wage bill. This is a further blow to Saints fans after David McGoldrick's curious 10 year contract extension. The signing of Jordan Robertson on a permenant deal is some consolation to the fans. A great chance to secure the second home win of the season goes begging after Robertson misses Saints 7th penalty of the game in injury time. A decent away win at Norwich is followed by revenge against Swansea, when we hold them to a 1-1 draw. Andrew Surman reaffirms his love for Saints by kissing the badge as he scores against Swansea. He is sold to Tottenham for 2.5m the next day.  Saints receive 500k and an IOU marked "Harry". After coming close with a penalty in the previous match, David McGoldrick states he is delighted with how things are going.
In the Premiership, Manchester City sign the greediest five of the top 30 footballers in the world. They all announce they have long dreamed of playing with Michael Ball. A 20th goal of the season from a long throw sees Rory Delap voted 11th in a list of the world's 100 most effective footballers. After scoring 16 of these, Ricardo Fuller is snapped up by Chelsea for a cool 12m. Joey Barton finally signs for West Ham saying it is his spiritual home, forming a lethal combination with Bowyer, Dyer and Bellamy. West Ham fans protest that this may be too much scum even for them. 
Portsmouth's takeover collapses and several key players are sold to Tottenham to cut costs. Strangely, much of the transfer fees never reach Portsmouth. Harry Redknapp is interviewed about this on his new yacht while rubbing down Jim Smith, but neither can shed any light on the situation. The transfer deadline concludes in typical fashion, as bottom of the table Sunderland panic buy 9 strikers, including David Healy, who turns out to be their own. Strangely, the transfer fee went to White Hart Lane. At 11:55, Adam Lallana is loaned to Portsmouth. Bournemouth FC and Alpine Saint are found dead the next morning. |
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發表於 2008-12-13 16:55:08
